• Deep anger
Pierre: You told me on the phone you are in great pain, please tell me about it.
“I feel sick and I can’t get out of it; it feels as if my body is shutting down. I have a cracked nipple and at times it is bloody. I am breastfeeding. My doctor said it is mastitis. It started in the right breast, then the left breast started to act up with enormous pain. It is extremely sensitive. When the right duct was blocked I was screaming as if I were delivering. Now the left breast hurts and it is bleeding. It is an enormous pain and it’s extremely sensitive. I am so tired of the pain I can’t bear it anymore. I am feeling sick and stressed; it’s not like me at all. I had mastitis before but I could do everything I needed to do. This time I can’t.”
Pierre: Could you tell me more about the sensitivity?
“This time the sensitivity disturbs me and it burns. I don’t like to suffer. At this moment it is the only thing I think about. I can’t control the suffering. It is a rather vicious pain. It is so intense, like a strong stabbing pain. I can’t concentrate on anything. I feel like I am losing my head to it. I go in a room and I forget what I came in for.”
Pierre: Please, tell me more about the suffering.
“I have a phobia of mice and rats. After my daughter’s birth, I had anxieties that someone was going to take her. I get out of the shower just to check on her. I found mouse droppings in my house, in my basement, and I completely freaked out then I saw a dead mouse in the yard. Yesterday I was lying down in bed and I thought somebody was cutting my daughter’s arm. I know it sounds extreme, but that’s what is going on. I feel very protective of her. I could have extreme anger if anybody did anything to her; I could kill an elephant. I have always been very violent. I like to hurt and get hurt. I fought against much stronger boys than I in school. I used to be violent, and I used to have violent thoughts upon myself. This is the only way I could have intercourse. I was abused and terrified of sexual thought, then it turned and I was very promiscuous. I can’t stand surprise; it’s like a mouse that arrives at any time. Rats, really disgust me. Even in a coloring book they disgust me. I feel like they are going to dirty me. I feel like they are going to climb on me, and touch me, and bite me. I saw one a long time ago and I cried for four hours. I am absolutely terrified.”
Pierre: Please tell me about being horrified.
“It is horrible suffering. I can take so much but at that moment it feels like a huge creature eating people with limbs flying. I know I am going to suffer but I can only take so much.”
Pierre: Talk to me about fighting.
“It removes all the hate I have in me. When I’m fighting, I control the situation. As soon as the anger takes over I am invincible. I just see red with anger to the tips of my fingers. All that is needed is a trigger. I very rarely have repentance. Whatever has been done should not have been done. The pain in the breast I can’t control, the pain from a fight I can. When I suffer I am not mean; I am not violent with the people I love.”
Pierre: Could you describe these feelings a little more, please.
“When I fight I control the situation, I have no respect for men, and it is extremely intense. At times, I feel like some people put me in a little girl state. When my parents somewhat acknowledged the problem of me being abused, I felt on the side. I came home and went to my room. I felt rejected. I felt that I must be a real shit for them not to pay attention to it. I did not feel part of the family. I couldn’t spit at his face or kill him.”
Pierre: How are you feeling?
“I have been feeling very calm, I am not so quick to anger. The violent thoughts are also better. The anger that I had to hit someone is also better. I am capable of concentrating. My breasts started to feel fine immediately after I took the remedy and I have been able to breastfeed without any problems. I had blocked ducts for a very short time once. Rats or mice don’t seem to cause as many anxieties as before. I actually saw a mouse in a field close to my house, but I did not have the feeling that it was going to jump on me. That anxiety became slightly more intense after I took the remedy. Now it is much better.”
“Rats used to be repulsive to me whereas they are okay now. Sex has been good, absolutely no problem whatsoever,
whereas for years I was in therapy and it didn’t do anything. I have not had any thoughts of anyone taking my daughter and I have not had any violent thoughts. At some point I had a lot of vaginal discharge, which took two weeks to improve on its own. I am feeling very well. I used to have really strange thoughts during intercourse, now I no longer have them.”
I present this case because the intensity of the physical pain matches the intensity of the emotional and mental level. This is common but we never quite see it that way. It is generally “lost in translation” as I call it. Lost in translation means that the inter-intensity as well as the inter-connectivity of the PEM is not acknowledged within the connected whole. At best, in the alternative world there is a disconnected whole where one can make lifestyle changes, often with great efforts to achieve limited results. With homeopathy it is not the case. We do not ask people to make changes. We approach this matter as the changes should happen from the inside out. The inside is where the strength really is. In that sense, a frail looking body with a strong life force on all levels is better than a big body with a frail Vital Force.
The spontaneous choice of words is always very interesting because they are the only way to transport us into the interior. Here she uses the word “vicious” and “strong stabbing pain.” These words are very telling of the nature of the disorder. As the case goes on, we’ll see how important what “lost in translation” really is. “Lost in translation” makes me think of fishermen who used to use lobster for bait until they realized how good it really is and how much people liked it once introduced to it. It is all around us but we just don’t notice it.
As we see over and over in these cases, seemingly disconnected features are threaded into the condition with no apparent logic and yet it leads to the root that brought all of it up in the first place. Here she is talking about her extreme fear of rats and the potential rage in her. The question was about “suffering.” An open question and letting her describe the web of her suffering takes us straight down the Golden Thread all the way to the root of her ill.
What is really great about this case is that the intensity is beautifully well reflected on all levels: Physical, emotional and mental.
There is nothing quicker to restore health than the right remedy acting in similarity upon the Vital Force.